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I have often been asked, in Norway
and Russia too, why I decided to look towards Russia when I wanted to
find a girlfriend. There was more than one reason to this but one was
prominent.
I grew up much like a nerd,
interested in history, sciences and books and not so much interested
in garment, dancing and idle chit-chat. I have one brother but no
sister, and I grew up in a village at that time rather traditionbound
- in other words one where he and she really lived at different
planets and had few ideas about life at the other planet before they
fell in love as teenagers. So when I came to the age when interest in
girls grew, I had little insight in the life and desires of girls.
I remember study years as a very
frustrating time of many, many romantic advances all ending in a dead
end. I was simply not attractive to girls, I guess. The one exception
to the rule was mentally unbalanced and fervently religious, so that
relationship was doomed before it had started. So when I moved to my
present home town, with a diploma in my luggage, I was susceptible to
romantic advances from the other part - and I ended up in a ten year
long affair with a woman who in the end developed a serious mental
disturbance. A gentleman will not flee away from his lady when times
are hard, but when she became violent to our son I took a handle on
the case.
So there I was, finish with an
exhausting and dear affair. My next one is going to have a calm mind
and a flexible manner, I told myself. I decided to try my hand at a
correspondence affair, then emotions could grow in spite of my awkward
dancing feet and clumsy behaviour with women. So I put out a profile
at a couple of free-to-post net sites for romance. But the response
was disappointing, very few replies and even fewer serious ones. I
remarked one fact though, more than half of those not so serious
contacts came from abroad. So I decided that when I was to get serious
about it I should look abroad. I guessed that women in Norway are used
to being danced around by "lover-boys" with dancing abilities like
Fred Astaire or John Travolta, and are less interested in
correspondence romance.
I then gave a very serious thought to
where this woman should come from. Russia & "almost Russia" stood out
and for several reasons:
My first romantic travel was a
failure, I ended up with a woman who finally showed herself to desire
a luxurious life and was willing to swindle all those who didn't
qualify to her norm of affluence. That experience taught me a good
deal about female dishonesty through electronic correspondence, so
when I had my profile published I was able to pick out girls of low
reputation. I have many letters of gratitude from agency managers when
I have warned them about dishonest girls in their database, miss
Øritsland at Dioritz too. I corresponded for five months before I went
on to meeting with Margarita, all the time looking for not only
dishonesty but also signs of personal incompatibility: temper,
interests, tolerance... More than one connection broke and others
never got started because of this.
So finally in September 2004 I went
to Murmansk to meet with her. By then I was quite nervous, I had not
yet formed any sure opinion of what she looked like for my inner eye -
photographs Margarita had sent me showed both a slim girl and a well
rounded one, this natural brunette has occasionallly dyed her hair
black and other times blond, her hair is quite short now but she has
formerly been wearing it long, and the garment she wore when we met at
the airport was totally new to me. If she had not held up a sign at
the airport I would hardly have been able pick her out. But she
recognized me, we had many talks during that week and later on a long
correspondence further, and what had been an interest soon grew to be
true love. When I asked her for her big YES she knew me well enough to
give me the great answer.
So to the question if a russian love
affair is anything good my answer is a resounding and unequivocal YES
! Only make sure through the correspondence that you are in
connection with:
A. An honest woman - follow the
tips given in blacklists, here below are some good ones. Be aware of
that marriage agencies can well be dens of fraud, so join a good one,
for instance Dioritz.
B. A woman who is personally compatible with yourself. My advice is to read up on the culture where you decide to perform your search, here is a good site with tips about culture in
Russia and next door.
Her beauty does inescapably matter
but I insist that it is vital to feel at harmony with her mind
too. The lady of your choice may or may not be of a little special
background but if she is good that shouldn't matter much - Margarita
has a Kazan-tartarian mother but the old communist system was good at
unifying the people: Russians, Ukrainians and Tartarians; atheists,
orthodox and protestants; all such differences matter immensely much
less in Russia than personal qualities.
Sorry, forgot
to make clear precisely which my greatest motivation of all for
looking towards Russia is. I have included this in the Norwegian
language version coming shortly.
Simply it was the
huge mass of available ladies. I could with reasonable assurance
regard myself as good for at least some of them, without the coy
game girls in Norway like to play: Come to me - come to me -
come to me - oh shits you can go again, I am not interested in
you after all... I know that I am not the only man frustrated by
this game. I guess that this is her test to find out who are
serious and attractive in all aspects, but I think it has also
something to do with a conflict with the wishes of new Eve and
the desires or old Eve. New Eve wants him to be comfortable with
gender equality, old Eve wants a gentleman who is able to play
on hidden desires. And now the catch: Eve doesn't accept that
there is a conflict hidden here - that a gentleman who is king
on the dancing floor and willing to sweet-talk her incessantly
is awfully often unwilling to take his turn in the household
chores. But when they want to get into contact with me, this
problem is half solved already
PS! Also I include
a wish of good luck, for both him and her looking for love at
Dioritz!
Asgaut Bakke
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